I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
