if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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