forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think i got beer on your cat.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
