Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
