wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
