What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
