Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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