i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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