Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
