We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
