can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
