I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
