I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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