i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
