Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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