I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
