She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
