come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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