your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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