Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
