It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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