And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I wannas sexs uuuuu
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
