How'd it feel making her break her religion?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
