What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
