He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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