I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
