Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
