She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
