if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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