I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
