it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
