there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
