With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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