C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
