How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
