somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
