I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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