Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
