69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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