I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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