Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well I just put wine in my tea
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
