hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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