I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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