Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
