Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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