So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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