I think my vagina is haunted
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
