Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
