I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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