Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
